Minisode 17 – Instant Karma: Schadenfreude Edition
Well, hey! Ever get joy out of somebody getting what’s coming to them? Sure you do. We all do! It’s called schadenfreude…and it’s particularly fun when it happens to criminals! That’s what we’re doing on this episode. Come join in the schadenfreude with us!
STOP! INSIDE JOKES AHEAD!
If you haven’t gotten to listen to the episode yet, spoiler alert! This post contains lots of stuff that will make waaay more sense if you listen to the episode before or while reading. So if you haven’t already, pump the brakes and listen to the episode or just click above to play so that you can be in on all the shenanigans to follow!
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Produced by Peter Woodward
The phenomenon that is "Schadenfreude"
What's that??
Let’s admit it. Most of us get some satisfaction when we witness someone getting what we feel they deserve, particularly when that person is doing something we think is wrong or unfair or stupid.
There’s a reason videos compilations of “fails” are so popular: people like to see people getting what’s coming to them.
This concept is called “schadenfreude.” It’s a German word that literally means “damage or harm, joy”.
5 STORIES OF TRUE CRIME INSTANT KARMA!
#1 A Comedy of Wieners
In 2017 on the streets of Chicago, 19 year old Terrion Pouncy decides to rob a hot dog stand. This genius pulls a gun on the hot dog vendor demanding his wallet, cell, and all his money in the cash box. At the time the, vendor was holding a bucket of hot grease, and was so startled, he dropped it to grab his wallet. The entire container of grease spilled all over Pouncey. Some of the dollars fell onto the ground as this occurred, and Pouncey tried to quickly holster his weapon to start picking up the money. At this point, this winner accidentally shot himself…where? You may have guessed it…in the penis.
Don’t worry. He survived. He was promptly arrested and charged with multiple counts of armed robbery.
Sorry, not sorry about your wiener, friend. Hey…wiener…see what I did there? Lol.
#2 You Suck
Pretty simple, huh? Well, it’s about to get more complicated when karma is involved. Heeheehee.
In Australia in 2016, a man attempted to steal gasoline from a large tour bus. He employed the above technique: he placed a hose in the tank and initiated suction by mouth to attempt to siphon the gas…
What this genius failed to realize is that he had inadvertently placed the end of the hose in the sewage tank instead of the fuel tank.
What happened? Well, as you may have guessed, ya boy got a mouth full of human excrement!
He was captured with his mouth full of pees and poops and the police were called. However, in a fun full circle moment, the owners of the tour bus decided that they “didn’t want their property back”.
Yes. Yes. So satisfying.
#3 Zoo Justice
One evening in South Africa in 2005, a man decided to rob some random victims. He held up a couple at gunpoint and took their money. Fortunately, two guards were nearby and witnessed the crime. They began to chase him, but he ran off, hopping a nearby fence and disappearing.
Oh, man. He got away! Nope. Not so…
What this jerk didn’t realize in his haste to get away with his stolen money is that the fence he jumped was the enclosure for the tiger cage at the Bloemfontein Zoo!
The next morning, zoo patrons were shocked to see the thief in the tiger cage. He had been killed and left by the tiger.
Burp. Good kitty!
Bonus: similarly in 1997 at this same zoo, a criminal jumped the fence into the gorilla cage. He apparently tried to shoot the gorilla, hitting him twice. But the gorilla, undeterred, bit him in the butt and held him up against a wall until police arrived!
Lovely! Good monkey.
#4 Rosebud...(dies, except not)
In 2012, an inmate in jail named James Washington suddenly started having chest pains. He knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that he was dying.
While help was being administered, he called a prison guard to him and said he needed to confess to something before dying. Stating “I have to get something off my conscience and you need to hear this. I killed someone. I beat her to death.”
He proceeds to confess to the brutal murder of a woman named Joyce Goodener in 1995. This was a cold case in which with poor lady was stabbed, beaten with a cider block, and set on fire. Though Washington had been on the suspect list, police never had enough to tie him directly to the crime.
After spilling his guts, Washington relaxed and closed his eyes…and didn’t die. Yeah…he lived. Oops.
His “deathbed” confession was used to bring him up on charges of first degree murder. In court, his defense tried to backpeddle, saying the confession was a hallucination, but several witnesses from the medical team caring for Washington confirmed he was lucid at the time.
Washington ended up receiving a life sentence after being found guilty following a three day trial. (snickers)
#5 Mooooving Violation...?
This list would not be complete without a crime out of the land of Florida. In 2021, a woman named Jennifer Anne Kaufman attempted to steal a car in Florida. Well, she did in fact steal it, and police were in pursuit as she fled in said vehicle.
After awhile, she crashed the car. Abandoning the vehicle, she attempted to flee on foot, crossing a fence into a large pasture. To her immediate surprise and horror, the cows in the pasture did not take kindly to this person running across their turf. Amazingly, the cows began chasing her and herded her across the pasture right to the waiting arms of the Seminole County police on the other side.
The best part…it was allllllll captured on a police helicopter camera! Check it out below. You think she was crapping her pants or what??
Yes. Yes. Yes. Schadenfreude, baby.
WHAT ELSE DID WE TALK ABOUT?
Capo
This thingy. It goes on the frets on your guitar. It’s got a name. And that name is “capo”. Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
AGLET!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The plastic thingies on the end of shoestrings. They have a name. And that name is “aglets”. Let’s all give it up for Jonathan because we certainly didn’t know that before now. Good work, J!
Chinese Attack Geese!
Yes. They are real. They do exist. And try as you may…you cannot stop the honking. Elite. Attack. Geese. Unit.
Whatcha gonna do when they come for you?
Me? I’m running away.
STRANGE WOODS PODCAST RECOMMENDS...
Sanford and Son (1972-1977)
Comedy gold. This is a classic TV series starring the incomparable Redd Foxx. Check it out if you never had.
The Mask (1994)
Dude…if you haven’t seen this, stop what you’re doing and go watch it. Jim Carrey is (chef’s kiss).
Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery (1997)
Hate to be a broken record here, but…if you haven’t seen it…what are you even doing with your life?? Mike Myers in multiple hilarious roles in each of the three films in this series…need I say more?
So what did we learn this episode, guys? We enhanced our vocabulary with new words, we got some GREAT comedy recommendations out there, AND we found out that we are all horrible on the inside and secretly (and not so secretly) enjoy the suffering of others. Ahhh…sickos one and all!
Seriously, thanks for stopping by and we love you guys!
Please continue to give suggestions and feedback to keep us up on what you like and what you want us to talk about!
And as always, STAY STRANGE!
LATER, STRANGERS!
Some articles and sources:
Peter’s wife. Registered nurse. Uber-fan of The Strange Woods Podcast.
