Minisode 04 – Guess What I Heard: Ohhh Honey!
Welcome back, Strange Woods Walkers. Guess what we heard? Something super gross. And true. But real gross. Ever heard of something called mellified man? What about human mummy confection? Well, you're about to learn today!
TRIGGER WARNING: DISCUSSION ABOUT DEATH, DYING, AND BODY FLUIDS. DISCRETION ADVISED.
STOP! INSIDE JOKES AHEAD!
If you haven’t gotten to listen to the episode yet, spoiler alert! This post contains lots of stuff that will make waaay more sense if you listen to the episode before or while reading. So if you haven’t already, pump the brakes and listen to the episode or just click above to play so that you can be in on all the shenanigans to follow!
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Produced by Peter Woodward
What is mellified man, you ask?
Folks…Get ready. Literally, a mummified human body steeped in honey for a century. This was done for the specific purpose of then breaking it up into pieces and distributing it as medicine!…Yeah.
Mellification means the production of honey by honey bees. It’s origin is Latin mellificāre (to make honey) as well as the Greek mélissa (bee, honey bee, [poetic] honey). Medicinal properties of honey are well known and documented. Additionally, it’s thickness and antibacterial properties make it a perfect preservative.
The earliest records of human mummy confection-making date back to 4th century BCE in Greece by Herodotus. Mellification was practiced in the 16th century. Documentation found in the Chinese medical text, the Bencao Gagmu details the process of turning a man into a candy.
But why?
Apparently, old Arabic men nearing the end of their lives submitted themselves for this process as a known self-sacrifice. They volunteered for mummification in honey to create a healing confection that could be used to help people in the future. The men stepping forward to do this deed never witnessed the results of their sacrifices; neither did those helping them through the process. This took a century of waiting to come to fruition. Talk about commitment to helping your fellow man!
But how?
What was the process, you ask? Well, here we go.
Firstly, the man stopped eating anything but honey. At all. He even bathed in honey. Within a month, all body excretions including sweat, urine, and feces all consisted of honey. As Jeremy pointed out, X-Men illustrated Senator Kelly internally saturated with water…so picture this…but with honey…
Okay…so not exactly. Very accelerated if at all, but you get the idea: filled with honey.
Secondly and obviously, death followed in short order because the body cannot live on this diet for very long.
Thirdly, the man was buried in a stone coffin that was filled with…you guessed it…honey. The coffin remained buried for approximately 100 years.
When they dug it up, the body would have been turned into a big sugary glob confection. This honey confection was broken up, bagged, and sold.
Mellified man sold as a medicine for a variety of ailments. Most specifically, buyers sought it out for healing broken limbs and wounds. It was rare and in high demand, and as such was reported to be very expensive.
A full account of this story is documented in the book Stiff :The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers by Mary Roach. Good read. Check it out.
But what? And who? And when? And where? More info, please...
History shows that the Assyrians, Georgians, Greeks, and Egyptians all utilized honey in their embalming and mummification. In fact, Alexander the Great was preserved in a honey-filled sarcophagus.
Alexander the Great (2004)
However, mellification (at least in this particular way)seems to still be a very unique process. Not a lot of information exists for a time frame of when and if this process ceased. Our collective thoughts on that are that the process itself was an…ahem…inefficient one…what with it taking a century to complete and all.
Clearly, however, the legend persists and has not been forgotten. As Peter mentioned, a 2010 science fiction novel entitled Dervish House by Ian McDonald features the search for mellified man as part of the subplot of one of the characters.
And as for this pressing question...
How do we think it ACTUALLY tasted?
Hmmm…
Well, here are our collective answers:
Jeremy: “Honestly, I think the overall flavor will be quite sweet. It’s the texture I’m concerned about.”
Jonathan: “It’s all about location, location, location. [He thinks the flavor is regional]. Honey beef jerky. Whatever the taste, I’m keeping texture at beef jerky, like a Jack Link’s.”
Peter: “I think the texture would be terrible. It would probably taste bitter and rotten, like a corpse’s a**hole plus bad beef jerky. No sweetness.”
Brittiny: “Leather-flavored honey with the texture of sawdust that smells like skunky mead.”
Hannah: “Like a fart smells.”
Brandi: “I think it would taste super sweet, but also like a fart smells at the same time.”
SOME OTHER STRANGE STUFF WE DISCUSSED...
I've never tried that before...
Are the rich and elite consuming bodies? Drinking the blood of infants perhaps? Jonathan certainly seems to think so! And who is this friend of his with intertwining conspiracy theories that we heard about?
Self-Mummification
Jonathan brought up a Thai Buddhist monk named Luang Pho Daeng in the Wat Khunaram Temple in southern Thailand. He has been there for over 40 years on display in the temple.
Daeng elected to participate in the Buddhist tradition of self-mummification, a process called sokushinbutsu. It involves extreme restriction of the diet before death, eating only things like tree roots, nuts, berries, tree bark, and pine needles. This serves to purge the body of fat, as well as dehydrate it to better facilitate mummification. Yikes.
Just a fun fact: the sunglasses, while very cool, are not for the purpose of being cool. His fellow monks placed those on him when his eye sockets collapsed into the back of his head.
Another neato bit of info:
Researchers scanned a 1,000-year-old Buddhist statue with a CT scanner and found…a mummy inside! His name is Liuquan, and researchers believe he, too, participated in self-mummification.
Local honey, anyone?
Does local honey ACTUALLY help with allergies?
Unfortunately, no, it does not. The idea of immunology behind the theory is a good one, but the pollen that bees use is from flowers while the pollen to which people are typically allergic comes from other places like grass, weeds, and trees.
So while it can help with soothing a cough because of its antibacterial properties and coating effects, it will not help with allergies directly. Boooo.
The buzz from the bees...
Jonathan also brought up something called the “feel good frequency”. Referred to as Solfeggio frequencies and in use for hundreds of years, these tones heal, calm, and relax. Our understanding of their effects has just begun. They were utilized in music and ceremonies dating back to ancient India and Medieval Europe! The magic number seems to be 528Hz. The frequency reduces anxiety, stress, and toxicity in the body as well as increases cell life by up to 20%. This level is present in the buzzing of bees, oxygen, rainbows, and grass. Pretty cool!
Winnie the Pooh Might Mellify Piglet...
Pooh is obsessed with honey. Honey is used to mellify. Piglet would be an excellent thing to mellify…because he is literally bacon.
We here at the Strange Woods Podcast are unable to produce any solid argument against this happening.
Honey bacon…sounds amazing, quite frankly.
So we say…get to it, Winnie.
There we go! Another episode down. Gross, but fun: just like we like ’em. Thank you all for joining us again. Hoping you’re loving the pod just as much as we love creating it!
A few important things before we adjourn:
First, honey is a superfood (with or without Arabic mummies dissolved in it).
Second, Jeremy wants to bring back mellifying people. Start the hashtag now: #MakeAmericaMellifiedAgain.
And finally, “Ain’t nothing sweeter than the listeners of Jonathan, Jeremy, and Peter.”
Don’t forget to stay safe and as always, STAY STRANGE!
Some articles and sources:
Peter’s wife. Registered nurse. Uber-fan of The Strange Woods Podcast.
