Minisode 19 – The Squonk
Ready to learn about the Squonk? Sure you are! In this episode, we meet a cryptid with issues…and in need of tissues…
See what we did there?
You will. Check it out and learn all about the lore of Pennsylvania’s most famous cryptozoological creature, the Squonk!
STOP! INSIDE JOKES AHEAD!
If you haven’t gotten to listen to the episode yet, spoiler alert! This post contains lots of stuff that will make waaay more sense if you listen to the episode before or while reading. So if you haven’t already, pump the brakes and listen to the episode or just click above to play so that you can be in on all the shenanigans to follow!
Join our Discord: https://discord.gg/EQU8jVSH5G
Produced by Peter Woodward
Pennsylvania's Pining Puddle of Self-Pity
Hi, everybody. This little creature is known as “the Squonk”. He hails from the hemlock forests of northern Pennsylvania. Originally mentioned in a 1910 book by William T. Cox called Fearsome Creatures of the Lumberwoods, With a Few Desert and Mountain Beasts , he is indeed a unique specimen.
On top of this all, he is constantly crying. It it said that this is because he is so ashamed of his appearance.
Abilities?
Some other interesting facts: they travel only in darkness to avoid being seen as much as possible, and as such, are obviously not aggressive. They avoid water due to the risk of seeing their own hideous reflection.
They also reproduce asexually by a process called binary fission. So…no lovin’ for the Squonk. That’s sad.
Because of their specific method of escaping capture, Squonks are notoriously hard to apprehend. However, if you are so inclined, they are best tracked on moon-lit nights by following their trail of tears.
In Popular Culture...
Tales of the Squonk are not only found in the original book in 1910. Stories of the Squonk exist in multiple works among them Paul Bunyan and His Great Blue Ox (1926) and American Myths, Legends, and Tall Tales: An Excyclopedia of American Folklore (2016).
He even inspired musicians to immortalize him in song! He is mentioned in the song “Any Major Dude Will Tell You” by Steely Dan.
The band Genesis had an entire single called “The Squonk” on their 1976 album “A Trick of the Tail.”
And victory of victories…the Squonk was even adapted into a character in the massively popular Final Fantasy video game, although based on the description we’ve been given, they seem to have taken some creative liberties…
Hmm…
Today...
In fact, our new friend is celebrated in August at a special festival just for him called Squonkapalooza in Johnstown, PA. It is an all-ages festival with celebrations of the Squonk and other Applachian and Americana folklore and cryptozoology. There are crafts, food, vendors, cosplay, speakers, and films. Sounds like a good time!
Check out the Squonkapalooza FaceBook page for pictures, details, and info on this year’s festival!
WHAT ELSE DID WE TALK ABOUT?
Cauliflower Ears
Ugh. I’m sorry.
Yeah.
This is cauliflower ear on a person. It’s basically scar tissue that builds up after repeated blunt force injury to the ear. And it is not awesome to look at.
The Squonk has cauliflower ears.
Okay. Again…sorry.
Eyore
Okay, I seriously hope I’m not telling you who Eyore is for the first time. He’s the terminally sad donkey from Winnie the Pooh. You don’t know who Eyore is? Did you have a childhood??
Derechos
A what whaty? A derecho. It is defined by the National Weather Service as “a very long lived and damaging thunderstorm. A storm is classified as a derecho if wind damage swath extends more than 240 miles and has wind gusts of at least 58 mph or greater along most of the length of the storm’s path.”
Sméagol aka Gollum
We’d be remiss if we didn’t make sure you all know who Sméagol/Gollum is from the Lord of the Rings. Even if you don’t know right off, you know once you see his picture and/or hear the voice…
He’s this thing…
STRANGE WOODS PODCAST RECOMMENDS...
The Secret World of Alex Mack (1994-1998)
Ah, Nickelodeon in the 90’s. It was a thing of beauty. This show starred Larissa Olenik as Alex Mack, a quirky teen that encounters toxic lab chemicals and gets weird abilities.
Tarzan (1999)
We mentioned Genesis in this episode. The group was headed by the unbelievably talented Phil Collins (don’t judge him by that Squonk song…it was not great). But in case you grew up under a rock and haven’t seen the awesomeness that is Tarzan, do yourself a favor. Indulge and enjoy the entire epic soundtrack made especially by the man himself, Mr. Phil Collins.
Well, there we go again, ya’ll! Hope you had as much fun with this one as we did.
Remember to keep requests and feedback coming!
Thanks so much for tuning in and stopping by yet again!
Also…whoever threw that paper, your mom’s a ho.
And as always, don’t forget to Stay Strange!
Later, Strangers!
Sources and links:
Peter’s wife. Registered nurse. Uber-fan of The Strange Woods Podcast.
