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Strange Woods Podcast > Episode > Episode 7- Cruel and Unusual Punishments: The Torture Episode

Episode

Episode 7- Cruel and Unusual Punishments: The Torture Episode

Welcome back! This whole episode is a trigger warning because on this one, we talk about TORTURE. Yes, torture, folks. Medieval, maniacal, and even a little more modern...

Let's get into it!

STOP! INSIDE JOKES AHEAD! If you haven’t gotten to listen to the episode yet, spoiler alert! This post contains lots of stuff that will make waaay more sense if you listen to the episode before or while reading. So if you haven’t already, pump the brakes and listen to the episode or just click above to play so that you can be in on all the shenanigans to follow! 

 

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Produced by Peter Woodward

LISTENER STORY ALERT!!

We’re back again with superfan, Raemi, and another creepy hospital story. This time, she tells us about the weird handprint that appears just above the floor on the wall in one of her hospital’s elevators. It was enough to spook her and a patient into saying “Nope” to that elevator ride. WE HAVE A PHOTO OF THE HANDPRINT! 

WEIRD! Adult-size handprint near the floor…sometimes there, sometimes not…and the elevator bugs out all the time. We’re going with haunted. Right? Haunted elevator. 

And speaking of ghostly handprints appearing, this is the mirror in the front hall of the Myrtles Plantation in St. Francisville, LA. This location has been the site of multiple ghost hunts and investigations and is widely considered to be one of the most haunted places in America. You should check it out. 

All the info you need on the Myrtles, both historical and haunted 😉

https://myrtlesplantation.com/

UH-OH! It's torture time!

Across the world and time, the idea of punishment for crimes and wrongdoings has been part of human civilization. In modern times, most punishment for crime is regulated, standardized, and monitored. NOT SO IN THE PAST! And there were some reeaaalll effed up things that used to go down when somebody got in trouble. Strap in. Here we go.

 

 

Here are some references for more general info on the various forms of torture that were sups popular back in the gap!

https://www.britannica.com/list/cruel-and-unusual-punishments-15-types-of-torture

 

https://www.history.co.uk/articles/ouch-8-of-the-most-brutal-methods-of-execution-from-the-ancient-world

 

https://www.storypick.com/flaying-your-skin-slowly/

Cruel and Unusual Punishment

Rat torture

So…rat torture. Torture…via rat. Bucket against your gut with rats inside, fire applied to bucket, and rat begins to BURROW INTO YOUR FREAKING BODY to escape the heat. And let us not forget Jeremy’s charming addition to this topic…the rectoscope. Because what’s worse than gut rats? The answer is butt rats. Yikes.

Brazen Bull

This one had to suck. Not only being cooked alive, but your dying screams converted to cow sounds for spectators to hear. Ugh. I wonder if anyone was ever moooooooo-ved to tears over that. 

Impalement

Vlad Tepes, better known as Vlad the Impaler or Vlad Dracul, the original inspiration for famous Transylvania legend, Count Dracula. Ya’ll, this dude straight up loved to put a person on a pike. He made impalement go viral in his time. Look at that mustache. And that headpiece? Clearly a psycho.

 

 

Mo’ info.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vlad_the_Impaler

Crucifixion

This is a well-known form of torture largely due to Christianity and the death of Jesus Christ. Crucifixion involved nailing of the hands and feet to wooden beams and allowing time and exhaustion to lead to eventual asphyxiation. Horrible and awful.  


https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crucifixion#:~:text=Crucifixion%20is%20a%20method%20of,Carthaginians%20and%20Romans%2C%20among%20others.

Flaying

Peeling you like a grape. Like a banana. Like a potato. Often not even leading to death, just lifelong disfigurement. 

Here, sicko. Read more about it.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flaying#:~:text=Flaying%2C%20also%20known%20colloquially%20as,removed%20portion%20of%20skin%20intact.

Sawed...in...Half

Self…ex…planatory.

 

But, hey, here’s more info if you’d like.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Death_by_sawing

LOOK OUT FOR THAT SPLASH ZONE!

 Speaking of making a splash, this lovely lady loved to splash the blood of her murder victims on her face because she believed it kept her youthful and beautiful. Elizabeth Bathory, ladies and gents: a total psychopath.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elizabeth_B%C3%A1thory

Gibbeting

This is a fun one. Gibbeting was the practice of displaying dying or dead bodies of criminals publicly as a means of deterring crime, often in cages for maximum visibility.  More frequently, however, it became more of a public show and did not minimize crime at all.  

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gibbeting

Why do you boil me up...buttercup?

Ahhh, boiling a person alive. This form of punishment could be done using any old liquid: water, oil, molten lead…the possibilities were endless! It was said to be a favorite pastime of the infamous Roman emperor Nero to boil Christians in oil. He sounds like a fun guy. 

 

Read on.

https://www.britannica.com/topic/boiling-punishment

Death by Molten Metal

As mentioned this episode, soft gentle rope is used to gently…gently strangle the accused until they try to breathe, at which point molten lava is poured down their esophagus. Holy crap.

Of note, we found out that Jeremy’s wife Brittiny has a super power: an INVINCIBLE MOUTH! One that no hot food or beverage can damage. Rad.

And P.S. Molten aluminum casts of ant piles are amazing. I mean, look at these things!

https://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/heres-what-happened-people-who-were-executed-having-molten-gold-poured-down-their-throat-180951695/

The Blood Eagle

So this horror show…wow. Where to even begin? Super sick and twisted. You know, images are probably enough. But we’ll link some more info below. You know, in case you’re a nutjob who would like more info on this whacko shit. 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blood_eagle

The Rack

Bound on all four extremities and stretched to death: that is essentially the jist. As Jonathan mentioned, it could be done with rope, mechanical devices, boats, horses…whatever got the job done. However it was done, the person got split like a wishbone.

Beep beep...Execution van coming through...

These vans are mobile execution sites for criminals in China. Lethal injections served hot. They have been in use since 1997 and are staunchly supported by the Chinese government because they are economic, efficient, and a “more humane form of killing people, being far less painful than firing squad executions.” 

K then.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Execution_van#:~:text=The%20execution%20van%2C%20also%20called,and%20executed%20inside%20the%20van.

Upright Jerker...over-engineered nonsense.

I mean, a reverse hanging. Jeremy put it perfectly: why not just let the body weight do the work? IDK. Seems a little extra. 

 

Crushing by Elephant

How terrifying…being crushed to death by an elephant. Hopefully, with any luck he won’t be one of those tap dancing elepha…

 

Dammit. Oh well. 

Guillotine

An oldie but a goodie(?). The French did love their head chopping. This medieval delight was making people shorter until 1977! Bruh.  

Strappado

You know. Just hanging from the wrists, getting dropped or having weights added to your feet, and getting them shoulders dislocated. This torture method was popular during the Spanish Inquisition and was used in the Salem Witch Trials. It has been employed in information extraction and torture of POWs at least as recently as 2017!

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Strappado

White Torture

This dips into psychological torture and it was essentially sensory deprivation and isolation: no color, no sound, no contact for very long periods of time. Oof. 

We also discussed sensory deprivation tanks. Funny how a torture method can also be something recreational in the right setting, huh? Weird.

Waterboarding

Another classic information extraction technique that is still in use today. Yikes. 

Sleep deprivation

Simple, effective, and cruel torture method: sleep deprivation. The human body needs sleep for restoration and healing so this is both physical and psychological torture. A twofer, if you will.

This is the Russian Sleep Experiment story Jonathan referenced in the episode. It’s fictional, but honestly, a super creepy story if you’re into that. 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Russian_Sleep_Experiment

We’re just gonna skip on by breast torture because everything I look up tries to connect me to fetish porn. So yeah…boob crushing. Moving on.

Scaphism aka "the boats"

Boats, prolonged sun exposure, milk, honey, diarrhea, and lots and lots of being eaten to death by bugs and vermin. This is a rough one, especially because it was..ahem…not a quick death by any means. Victims were essentially bound between or in boats, repeatedly force-fed milk and honey then were drenched in it, and were left out in the sun. Honey-induced diarrhea would occur. Flies, bees, wasps, gnats, etc (shudder) would arrive in swarms and cover the person, and vermin like rats would come in to see what all the fuss was about and well…you can guess the rest. Gross. 

https://allthatsinteresting.com/scaphism

Iron Maiden

Unlike the band of the same name, this torture method certainly does not rock. When placed in this device, a person had to stand still so as not to become impaled on the hundreds of iron spikes surrounding them on all sides. Seems terrible. Maybe just listen to some tunes instead. May we suggest…

Some mo’ info.

https://www.ancient-origins.net/artifacts-other-artifacts/iron-maiden-0011517

Strange Woods Guys: How would you torture?

Peter: cut em’ slow. Thousands of small cuts. (psst this is Brandi, should I be afraid???)

Jeremy: water torture with a slow rising level that submerges you over and over again. 

Jonathan: psychological torture and slow, slow death. Or are you going to die? How long has it been going on? How long will it continue?

Outreach and Abuse Resources

Here on the Strange Woods Podcast, we like to laugh and joke and have a good time. But we know and understand that there are many who may be experiencing challenges and difficulties that they feel they just cannot overcome. Please know you are not alone and there are people and places that can assist you in your time of need. Pain is not permanent, everything is temporary, and you can come out the other side of whatever you are going through as a whole person. 

Below are several resources for abuse, addiction, and suicide prevention. Please use these resources if you or someone you know has need. 

Master list of phone numbers and websites can be found here:

https://ncadv.org/RESOURCES

There it is! Torture. It ended. And we made it through. 

Until we see each other again, remember to be decent to each other, and please don’t employ any of the various means of torture we have detailed and explained to you in this podcast today. Thank you for stopping by, well’ see ya next time, and Godspeed! 

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